Primo Papa

Primo Papa Play Of The Week

2009-09-16T23:52:00.001-07:00

Phillies fan Steve Monforto has made the Primo Papa Play Of The Week. The moment he had with his little girl Emily after she threw back the foul ball he caught is priceless. The video and quote highlight his readiness for the big leagues of parenthood. Way to go Steve!

"I think she was startled by the reaction of the fans around us — there was a collective gasp," said Monforto. "She was also startled by the look on my face. I just wanted to let her know it was OK — that she didn't do anything wrong." - Steve Monforto

3rd of Sept., A day I'll always remember

2009-09-03T21:38:00.000-07:00

No need to be alarmed my dad is fine. I was doing some research for a future post and stumbled upon a video of the Temptations performing "Papa Was A Rolling Stone". Considering that the opening line is "It was the 3rd of September, a day I'll always remember. Cause that was the day my daddy die." and today is the 3rd of September, I couldn't resist.

I have started typing and started again, but every time my entry comes off way too preachy. So I will just say this:

Live what you want honest people to say about you to your kids when you are gone.
Make a will / living trust, and have proper life insurance.
Take every opportunity large and small to create lasting memories with your kids.

Thanks dad, for being a cornerstone instead of a rolling stone.

Tub Talk with Grandma

2009-09-03T05:00:00.000-07:00

Last night was full of great bath time with my son, and I didn't even have to get splashed. My mother-in-law was over and he requested her for assistance with his evening scrub. He always has a few antics he likes to pull when grandma does bath time but last night was a classic.

Image not available
Self-explanatory

During his final rinse before getting out, my son introduced Nanna to his new topic of conversation when he is in the tub. Full of pride and with a big grin he proclaimed, "Nana, I have a beautiful penis!" Long pause from Nana. Nana didn't have any boys of her own, so this fascination with the human physique is new to her. In a valiant effort to normalize the conversation she replied, "Yes you do have a beautiful penis, and beautiful toes, your eyes are beautiful, you have beautiful ears, and....." this went on for about five more body parts. To which he replied, "I like my penis." That was the end of bath time. I was able to enjoy the entire exchange from the comfort of my couch. While the price of admission is high, having kids is the greatest show on earth!

The rewards of patience

2009-08-31T05:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes reading with my son is painfully slow. He has his favorite books and we read them over and over again. As much as I relish that time with him, I can lose sight of the blessing of it all. I mean what could he see that he hasn't seen before?

The older he gets the slower he turns the pages of these little books. Watching him you would think that he is going to fall right into the pages - and that's when it happens. Those eagle eyes find the most minute detail on the page.

It would have never occurred to me that the Harper Collins Publisher logo looks like the flames in the fireplace of the great green room in "Goodnight Moon". But he points to it and says "there's another fire". I chuckle with amazement and concur with his observation. Then I am again thankful for the patience to see something click in his powerful little brain.

Let's go somewhere daddy! Update 08/29/09

2009-08-29T23:35:00.000-07:00

As a kid I vividly remember saying to my father every Saturday, after the lawn had been mowed of course, "Let's go somewhere daddy!" To which he would reply, "What do you want to do?" I had nothing, all I knew is that I wanted to be with my dad anywhere other than our house. I needed some adventure in my life!

While I haven't been faced with that proposition yet, I get some heat from time to time for not being creative with weekend activities. So no complaints here about a hard week at work or not having access to information. This short list of things to do in and around Los Angeles will bring smiles to a little face and win you some points with mama. With your help the list will grow in geography and depth over time. Please join in and help leave this list better than you found it by adding little adventures from your home town!

El Segundo 5 Minute Express: This is a great old school drive through set-up. Think "Car Wash" the movie but totally automated. Once you pay, simple drive, put your car in neutral, and enjoy the sights. The brushes, soap, and waxes are multi-colored. There are flashing lights and 200 mph blow dryer at the end.

LAX: There are two observation places to watch planes take off and land. The best is next to the In n' Out on Sepulveda and Lincoln in Westchester. There is a small patch of grass across the street. When the planes come in they are so close you could read news print if it were on the belly of the plane. Be warned this side is loud and may scare little kids.

For take-offs head to W. Imperial Highway. There is a high point on the street with an observation area looking down over the south runways. This place is complete with benches and one of those binocular gadgets that looks like a face. There are plenty of plane enthusiast with their telephoto cameras so you can't miss it.

If you spend lots of time on the West side then hit the Santa Monica airport as well. You can read more about it in a previous post. Primo Papa: Cheap Thrills

Trains: One of my favorite things to do as a kid was to ride the miniature steam train in Tilden Park in Berkeley, CA. Great fun and only a dollar or so per ride. It was such a thrill to take my kid on his first train ride there this past holiday season. He had a blast as well. You can't beat the views, traveling through tunnels, and weaving between mossy redwood trees is exciting. The whistle of the train with plumes of white steam coming out is unforgettable at any age.

http://www.redwoodvalleyrailway.com

While I haven't been, there are also mini trains in Griffith Park. If you have taken a ride let us know what you and the kids thought.

http://www.gprah.com

The Nethercutt Museum: Here is a great collection of vintage and classic cars in pristine condition. If you live in the San Fernando Valley or are up for the trip, this place is a must see. You need to allow for a couple of hours to visit this place, so small kids will be over it in a matter of minutes. I can't wait to introduce cars as an art form! I have a while yet, so Hot Wheels will have to do for now.

http://nethercuttcollection.org

If the Valley is a bit far out give the Peterson Automotive Museum a try. You will get your money's worth if your kids can hang for a few hours and like cars. This is another can't wait for me.

http://www.petersen.org

Update 8/28/09

I just learned of the Makerfaire in San Mateo, CA. This is an expo for tinkering creative types. It looks like a great place to learn about the next gadget to come out of a local garage. Any science/engineering minded kid should have a blast. Look out for Maker Faire 2010.

http://www.makerfaire.com/

At this point I am about tapped out. Like directions, I refuse to ask a woman's help on this one, so dads chip in your suggestions. You will be saving another dad when he is faced with the inquiring statement "Daddy, let's go somewhere!"

Papa's value alert!

2009-08-29T07:29:00.000-07:00

Last night my wife and I went over a few options for a family outing this Saturday morning. We decided on going to a farm about an hour away from our home. Their pitch is come and see how a farm works, taste some fresh produce, and pick some seasonal fruit to take home.

So far so good right? As I hurried out of bed to set off on this adventure, (with kids it's an adventure from the moment you wake them up) my value meter began to sound off. It's that feeling you get before you spend time and money on something when you aren't sure it's going to be worth it. It feels the same as buyer's remorse except you can still do something about it.

I have been notorious for having an acute sense of what is a good value. This is something I don't necessarily want to pass on to my kid or have my family miss out on fun because of it. I hope I am not over reacting here, so I am asking the blogosphere.

The event: $26 for two adults and a 2 yr. old to drive 2 hours round trip, walk a small farm, taste a few seasonal fruits, pick a watermelon, and make it back home for lunch and nap time.

Good value or not so much?

The hug Nazi

2009-08-19T22:09:00.000-07:00

It looks like I have a hug Nazi on my hands. My son has become strangely reminiscent of Seinfeld's Soup Nazi with his famous line "No soup for you".

At bed time we do a last call for hugs and everyone serves up a final round. The three of us even do a group hug just before his head hits the pillow. This has been a great ritual in our family. It has gotten so good that many times he now calls out "group hug" and says great stuff like "I love you guys" as he tries to get his arms around both our necks.

Recently on a night like any other, it was that time again. When I went in for my hug I was stopped dead in my tracks with a scowl and "No hugs for daddy!". That was a killer. Doesn't he understand that those hugs are the best part of my day? Like all the New Yorkers on Seinfeld, I would stand in line for those hugs and never get tired of them. Then just to throw some salt on the wound, he finished me off with "Hugs for mama" and a mischievous laugh.

So now we have a new game: he barks "No hugs for daddy!", I pretend to cry, from which he derives a big laugh as he runs to mama to say "I made daddy cry." He knows I can't get enough and he relishes the power!

What's your thing?

2009-08-04T05:00:00.000-07:00

What thing did you have with your dad when you were a kid?

One of the keys to good memories with your kids is having a tangible item you share just with them. Right now I have airplanes with my son. We collect them, learn their names, and fly them through the house and yard. I am storing up fun times in his little head that I hope he never forgets. The material things we build and share with our loved ones are vital ingredients in the glue that binds us together.

The idea of building memories with you kids while building things came to me when I was watching one of the special features at the end of the movie Grand Torino. The movie is about the relationships an aging man has with his sons, neighbors and his '72 Grand Torino. One of the bonus features on the DVD highlights the relationship men in particular have with their cars. A guy gets rather nostalgic about the Mustang he built with his dad as a teen. As he reflected on that time in his life he got choked up. Just like keys unlock that car, the car unlocked emotions tied to the bond he and his father share. I started asking myself; what thing do I share with my son? Did I have a thing with my dad?

Make sure you have a thing with your kids. You may need it down the road. It's nice to know you have a common bond around a thing that time, distance, or circumstances can't break. Bring your kids into a part of your world or dive into theirs. Tie flies for fishing, build model cars, work on puzzles, play or listen to music. Those artifacts of love will store lessons and adventures you share that last a life time.

A healthy retun on your investments

2009-07-20T20:13:00.000-07:00

I have been away from the writing for a while doing my best to be a primo son to my Primo Papa. Health issues have been creeping up and he needed some support. Hopefully, the extra attention we are paying to the issue will pay off sooner than later.

Supporting my dad makes me think about the short sighted nature of too many of us. If we are going to do all of the work to be Primo Papas, then do what we can to stay around long enough to enjoy it. We are all making huge sacrifices so that our kids have the best and see the best in us as men. That effort will produce a return. Are you doing your best to make sure you can collect on it?

Get off your butt, go see your doctor, take a walk, and stop eating all that crap! I want to see my kid graduate from everything. Watch him succeed in a career. Change the world with his unique talent. Meet "the" girl, and play with my grandchildren. I can't control my DNA or a falling piano, but I can be responsible for what I put in my mouth. It is my choice how often I break a sweat for my health instead of only when stressed. Let's make up our minds to stay off this "Top Ten" list!

1) Heart disease	27.2%
2) Cancer	24.3%
3) Unintentional injuries	6.1%
4) Stroke	5.0%
5) Chronic lower respiratory diseases	5.0%
6) Diabetes	3.0%
7) Influenza and pneumonia	2.3%
8) Suicide	2.2%
9) Kidney disease	1.7%
10) Alzheimer's disease	1.6%

Leading causes of death in all men . Data from the CDC, 2004

The pleasure of pee

2009-06-23T06:42:00.000-07:00

Be fore warned, unless you are a new dad or can reflect back on this stage in your son's life you may not dig this one. I am also not sure how this plays out for guys with daughters.

I never thought helping my child learn to use the toilet would yield such a sense of accomplishment. The look on his face and the laughter of pride is priceless. From the start everyone said you have so much time for that because boys don't pick it up as fast as girls do. However, I was given one piece of advice that seemed a little strange at the time but is reasonable. Have an open door policy when you go to the bathroom.

TMI you say, if this is TMI at this stage in the game either you don't have kids or haven't been involved. This is light weight compared to the stuff people are eager to talk about once they know you are a dad. So here is the plan.

Get a potty.
Make a big deal about the potty when you set it up.
Let your kid know it is just for them, what it is for, and that they can use it any time they want. PUT ZERO PRESSURE ON THEM TO USE IT.
Leave the bathroom door open when you go. If they come in, so be it. Just make sure they don't get in too close. *
Complete the routine: Toilet seat down, flush, wash hands.

The two things that will amaze you most are how quickly they want to go potty and how exciting it is to see them accomplishing something that we take for granted.

My only caveat's are: it won't be consistent, so don't think they have got it down the first month. You have to be prepared to take them every time they ask. They may learn to use it as a stall tactic when they don't want to do something.

Just another way to make everyday tasks an adventure!

*Pee only

Dad: Every man and then some!

2009-06-18T21:28:00.000-07:00

Chaka Chan and Whitney Houston sang about being every woman, well now that I am a dad I can claim to be every man. The card I received last year for Father's Day is one of the funniest humor cards I have every seen because it is on the money! This guy is definitely a Primo Papa.

As fathers, the Primo kind, we perform every one of these roles and them some. There are two key roles that have been omitted however: pest control man and sounding board, dare I say therapist. Only when I am out of state will my wife get rid of any spiders herself. As a Primo Papa you have supported the #1 mom in your life from day one, which means a ton of listening and very little talking during pregnancy and early childhood. By the way, does that every change?

No matter how hectic things may get I enjoy each of these roles. I am proud to wear all of my hats as a dad. So make sure you show your Primo Papa some love this weekend, he has earned it!

*Images by Mahogany, a division of Hallmark Cards, Inc.

Keep score and win at fatherhood

2009-06-08T05:00:00.000-07:00

GAME STATISTICS
MIN	PTS	STL	RBD	BLK	AST	TO
35.4	48	3.2	10	2.1	11	1.1

So how exactly do you keep score as a parent? The fears of inadequacy can creep up on the best of us from time to time. It is the hardest working parent with well adjust, if not exceptional children that often feel this way. Leave it to a guy who is an athlete and a sales person to ponder the idea of a scoreboard for parenting a la the box scores in your local sports section.

The idea of scoring your parenting skills didn't come out of competitiveness, it came from compassion. I was listening to my wife's frustrations and concerns that she wasn't doing the best for our son, which I know to be untrue. She is an outstanding parent. In the heat of the moment it didn't matter how much I reminded her of all the things she does that has made him the wonderful kid he is today. It occurred to me that it would have been great to whip out a stats sheet of the last two years and say "Hey! Look what you did in this category and that category". Many areas of our lives are plagued by overly critical self evaluation. Parenting is hard enough as it is without beating ourselves up.

Basketball, golf, baseball, tennis, as with most sports have as many stats as you can imagine. I mean where else but American football would a stat like YAC (yards after catch) sound appealing. When compared to parenting these numbers are trivial at best. Here are some stats that would be cool to track.

PRIMO PAPA STATISTICS
MPD	HPD	P to P	RB	BPD	AT	AST
45	12.8	9:1	22	2.5	1.1	2.3

MPD = Minutes of one on one time per day

HPD = Hugs per day

P to P = Praise to punishment ratio

RB = Repeatable Behavior. Would it be a good thing if your kids did what you just did?

BPD = Number of books read to child per day

AT = Adventures taken together

AST = Number of times you let them help, instead of just doing it yourself even though it will take twice as long.

What would you keep stats on to evaluate your parenting skills?

We need to take time and reflect on the progress we make each day as leaders, teachers, care givers, and providers instead of getting bogged down with the occasional bad day.

The action movie for dads with daughters

2009-05-27T06:08:00.000-07:00

TAKEN

Starring Liam Nesson as the Primo Papa Brian Mills; father and ex-spy.

Summary: This is what happens to you when you mess with a semi-retired government operative's daughter. Solid action flick with plenty of hand to hand action and clever spy tricks.

Pros: Total guy movie that you can watch with your wife or girlfriend. Great action and camera work a la Jason Bourne. Should be viewed by any boy coming to pick up your daughter.

Cons: Nesson's character Bryan who is portrayed as a seasoned world traveling spy never has to break from speaking English during the entire film. I thought all those guys could speak 10 languages.

You may have heard the saying "a man's man", well Bryan Mills played by Liam Nesson is a dad's dad. In Taken, Bryan is an ex-government operative who has retired and moved closer to his teenage daughter with the hope of make up for lost time. The story kicks into high gear after the daughter with her mother's help, coaxes Byran to give consent so she can spend the summer in Paris with another teenage friend. Before the two young travelers spend their first night in Paris they are kidnapped by sex traffickers. This action flick tells a thrilling story about what a father is willing to do to save his daughter when he has Bryan's particular set of skills.

This story is a gift from writers Luc Besson & Robert Mark Kamen to any guy who is now the father of a little girl and fan of the Bourne, bond, or the Transporter movies. They set up the action by giving you some time to see the range of emotion experienced by a father who is trying to reconnect with his child after many years lost to an all consuming career. All the while navigating the icy water of an ex-wife and her uber rich husband. Once the emotional foundation is laid, it serves as a launching pad for Neeson's character to blast of into a focused rage and quest to bring his daughter home alive.

Bryan is always thinking. He seems to never loose his cool. All of the detective work to uncover the tiniest clues is clever. Watching him shred through all of the evil doers he encounters in the Paris under world delivers close hand to hand combat and fast paced action. In one particular seen when he realizes an old French spy buddy is on the crime boss' payroll, Bryan has no problem demonstrating his determination, even if it means inflicting a little pain on someone his old pal loves.

Nesson does a great job of making sure that nowhere during this entire odyssey do you loose sight of the fact that he is still a dad trying to save his child. His facial expressions often convey enough that words are not needed. Even during his rampage on all the sex trading scum he is able to show some compassion for another girl instead of just tossing her aside.

After a great final round of beat downs, Bryan is reunited with his daughter and you are presented with a predictable but realistic happy ending. Taken is a fun film for you to check out. For any guy with a teenage daughter, there are a few select scenes that are perfect to have for the viewing pleasure of any new boy that comes knocking on your door.

Overcome "I can't"

2009-05-22T06:48:00.000-07:00

Sooner or later your kid will figure out how to say those two words good parents never let their children use: "I can't". We have been led to believe these words are unproductive, unambitious, and frankly un-American. President Barack Obama ran an entire campaign on the exact opposite -"Yes We Can". In the face of your child's frustration with something they clearly can't do right now, how do you keep your solemn vow to up hold the time honored prohibition on those vile words "I can't".

Get real and tell the truth! With most ventures we attempt in life and are unable to do, it is just a matter of time, creativity, and effort. So just say it that way. Let your kids know its okay to struggle with something and instead of "I can't", give them "I am struggling with..." or " (fill in the blank) is hard". In fact, they should see you having to work at something difficult every once in a while. The satifaction of figuring it out is a lesson that should be learned early in life. It pays dividends for years to come.

The next time you hear "I can't" give these ideas a try:

Instead of telling them how to do it, get down on the floor or wherever and show them, but don't get it right the first time. Take a few cracks at it and get it wrong no matter how simple the task. Seeing you struggle lets them know they can identify with you. If daddy could figure it out then they can too.

Be patient, we always want to fix stuff. That is not our job here. You will be amazed at what they figure out on their own if you wait a little longer before coming to the rescue.

Our tendency with boys may be to say something like "yes you can, try harder". Cut your three year old some slack. Ask them what they are having trouble with and listen. Talk them through what they are working on step by step. If you have to, go back to the first suggestion.

What have you done to help you kids over come "I can't"?

Earning Fathers' Day

2009-05-21T06:13:00.000-07:00

Have you earned your Fathers' Day accolades this year? I am talking about the type of work that was put in by the father who inspired the holiday to begin with. Since Father's Day is exactly 30 days from now, it is the perfect time to challenge ourselves as fathers and do a little something extra each day to earn the honors we will receive this Fathers' Day.

Fathers' Day began as a way to show some love to a single dad. Of course it was his proud daughter who started it all. Back in 1909 while listening to a Mothers' Day sermon rightfully praising moms for their work, Sonora Smart Dodd couldn't help but reflect on her dad who raised six children by himself after their mother died during child birth. She wanted to say thanks for the selfless effort he exerted each day. The next year in June was the first recognized Fathers' Day celebration in the U.S.

Take this bit of truly heroic history and run with it. Make the commitment to be there and throw the ball around more or sit on the edge of the bed each night to hear about their day. Start or finish that project the kids keep hearing you brush off with "I'll do it next weekend". Consistency is the key, it doesn't have to be anything monumental.

My goals:

Post three new entries a week here at primopapa.com. I want my son to be able to look back on this and see how important is was for me to be someone he could be proud to pattern himself after.

Clean the garage to make a workout/ play area. The extra space will be great for him to play on a rain day next winter and see what it takes for daddy to stay in shape.

Step it up a notch at work because I am thankful to have a job in this economy, and my family will reap the benefits.

What are you going to do to earn your Father's Day festivities?

How to apologize to a toddler

2009-05-12T21:45:00.000-07:00

Recently I was compelled to apologize to my son for my bad behavior. I have to say it is humbling and weird to apologize to a toddler. I knew I was wrong, but at first I didn't think he would understand. Kids will amaze you - they get it.

This episode started with him banging a metal spoon against a glass bowl. I was sure he would break the bowl which I didn't want to clean up. Despite my requests to not hit the bowl and explaining what might happen, he continued.

Then I behaved in a way that I would not tolerate if he had done it to me or someone else. I snatched the spoon from his hand. Immediately, I knew I was not being the man I want my son to be. Of course that sent him into hysterics which I didn't feel too bad about. That stuff happens when he is frustrated or doesn't get what he wants.

The part that gave me pause was the sense of powerlessness in his eyes. In that moment between me rudely taking the spoon away and him screaming, he was thoroughly deflated. Now don't confuse me with some new age softy, consequences and boundaries are a kid's best friend. However, administering consequences without providing an opportunity to decide is mean. Since there wasn't any immediate danger I could have gone through my 1-2-3 routine or simply asked him to hand it over. Most of the time those options work well. This time I didn't give him a chance to exercise his decision making skills and that is the point of parenting.

So in the end, I pulled up next to him at the dinner table, looked him in the eye, and began to speak. I told him it was not polite to snatch things from people and that I apologized for doing it to him. His eyes were locked on mine, he could see my contrition. I asked him if he understood, to which he replied "yes". I extended my fist, he extended his and gave me a bump.

Peace restored, at least for now.

Papa's Last minute list for Mother's Day

2009-05-09T06:53:00.001-07:00

Men you now have less that 24 hours to have something unique and special for the woman who blessed you with the title DAD. If you are still reading, that means you want to show your love and appreciation with something, so lets get started. The clock is ticking.

1. Hand made coupons. Make a list of tasks you haven't gotten around to for her, places only she wants to go, or movies you vowed never to watch with her. Throw in a few things for yourself like painting her fingers and toes, back rubs, etc. and then head to the local Michael's art store or CVS.

Get some construction paper, puff paint, and glitter. Cut out several 3X6 inch coupons. With a Sharpie neatly write down each task from your list. For example: "This coupon entitles mom to..." Use the puff paint to decorate the edges and the glitter finish it off. Let them dry completely. Put your love coupons in a box and wrap it pretty. (Sorry, no pictures this is a last minute list remember)

2. Go to a nice dinner. Yes you did that last year, but this time make sure it is somewhere she has never been. I don't care if she loves that one place you always go to. Find something different. Ask her girl friends, use citysearch.com, yelp.com, zagat.com. Just don't ask her for help and none of the same old hang outs.

3. Here is a link to a previous post. Don't be thrown off by the title, the purpose is unrelated but there are some simple ideas. Kick mom out!

4. Check out what this dad has to say on last minute Mother's ideas. Make me wanna holler,

5. Don' for get the card, any card, with your writing in it. That means more than a signature.

Now get to it!

Dreaming is Contagious

2009-04-28T21:27:00.000-07:00

Dreams have a profound effect on our lives. They cause people to act out in their sleep. They create enterprises that employ millions and dreams have changed the course of nations. Of all these types of dreams, it is the ones we share with others that have the most profound effect.

One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is the gift of dreaming big. Many times parents try to give this gift by dreaming for their kids. Dads over the years have earned a bad rap for pushing their kids to play and excel in sports in which they themselves didn't make it big. Children are encouraged to pursue a profession their parent has longed for while grinding it out in a job that just pays the bills. Even when dad has all the artifacts of success, he still may say “I hope my kids do something better than me”.

Dads, today I offer you a more powerful dream. The dream you have for yourself! Dig back into the recesses of your mind and shake the dust off some of those dreams you had before fatherhood, diapers, formula, preschool tuition, etc. If those dreams don't excite you anymore, then create new ones.

Commitment to those dreams and live them. All the while you must give your child a front row seat to the whole show. Tell your kids about your dreams the way they tell you about what they want for their birthdays. Share each step with them as they watch you make your dreams a reality.

Seeing dad (insert your dream here) will inspire your child to dream for themselves. They will dream in such a way that it will cause them to take action and not simply fantasize. Watching your response to setbacks on the journey will give them something to hold on to when they are faced with road blocks. The residual effect of pursuing your dreams on your kids will be greater than anything you could ever dream for them. So dream big, it's contagious.

Where is daddy? It's storytime!

2009-04-14T19:30:00.000-07:00

Storytime is one of the most coveted parts of my day! Some days the 20 minutes I spend reading with my son is all we get together if my work keeps me out late. Bedtime reading has been a ritual we have honored ever since I figured out how to cradle him in one arm while holding a book and turning pages with the other hand. In all this reading a question began creeping up that is starting to bug me. Where is daddy in the baby books?

Right from the start reading "Mama and Me" just didn't feel right. All of these baby animals with their mothers but no daddy in sight. To give the publisher Baby Einstein the benefit of the doubt, I went to their site and searched for father, daddy, and dad. All I got was one book about sign language and products with Spanish words like "Ciudad". Another book we read is "I
Love You As Much". I love my kid as much as the grain in the mill or the grass on the hill too! So you should understand when I say that ending the book with "Now sleep child of mine while the stars shine above, I love you as much as a mother can love" just didn't sit right with me.

There are others also. Take "The Tale of Peter Rabbit" and "Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed" for instance. While Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cotton Tail were compliant bunnies, Peter was clearly a "strong willed bunny" and needed to hear the instructions about Mr. McGregor's garden from his dad. I don't know about yours but my dad would have taken care of all that jumping before anyone fell off and bumped their head.

Of the six books pictured above only one mentions a father which is in the predictable distant protector role. Don't get me wrong, I never knew my protective side could be so sharp until I had a child. At the same time he gets all of the hugs and kisses I can dole out. Primo Papas understand the need for both!

If you want a few books that showcase daddy's love for their small children try these out. For papas who have read them or others, let us know what you think.

Toy box need adjustment before you can "Beat Your Chest"

2009-03-21T07:30:00.000-07:00

Every so often I come across a product we have purchased for our son that I have to talk about. This one is almost perfect. The reason for the "almost" is what prompted my review. I hope the folks at The Land of Nod can make some adjustments to this otherwise great product.

We were in search of a toy box for our son's growing collection. Because my wife wanted to complement the look of his room a plastic bin wouldn't due. So she purchased a toy chest from The Land of Nod.

The Beat Our Chest:

7/10

Pros: Easy to assemble by instructions or pictures. Only hand tools are required. Solid look and feel. Tight joints so there is no squeaking. Strong enough to hold two adults. Quality finish with color choices for the chest and seat cushion.

Cons: Sharp edges and corners. Looks like the infamous coffee table you bumped your head on when you were a kid. Seat cushion is not large enough to cover those edges and corners. Fat lip waiting to happen.

Bottom line: Good piece of furniture that will add to the look of any kids room. Because of the seating feature the product will be useful to your child for many years. Papas will like it because you could put it together during half-time. Because the one flaw poses a safety issue, I can only go with a 7 of 10. Fix it and you get your 3 points back.

The Details

They could have named this the "beast of a chest". It is solid and large. The box has swallowed pretty much every toy we need to keep out of sight when not in use. Because the chest doubles as a seating area you also get a cushion that attaches to the lid. Two reasonably sized adults will be comfortable and secure sitting on it.

Assembly was a no-brainer. Only hand tools are needed and no glue is required. Each piece is lettered so following the directions is straight forward. For you papas that like to bypass written instructions and work form the pictures, the illustrations are clear so you will look a carpentry genius as well.

So far so good right? Well, the seating is the Achilles heal of this piece. The cushion does not completely cover the top of the box. This leaves edges and corners exposed. It is simply not safe for a small child that likes to run around and may stumble from time to time.

If there is one thing people talk about when you tell them you are having a child it is the adjustments you will have to make to your furniture. Someone always has a story about a run in a small child had with a coffee table. Well then why would a children's furniture company make a toy box just like that dreaded coffee table? The corners on the top of this toy box are sharp! I could see this was going to be a problem from the moment I opened the box and began assembling the piece. Though it took a few months and despite our efforts to protect him, our son finally tripped and busted his lip on the lid.

The fix for this is very simple: redesign so that the chest lid is recessed into the cushion. As it is, the cushion is not large enough to cover the edges. The foam should be cut about an inch or so wider and longer, also about a half inch thicker. Next cut out a section in the cushion the same size as the lid so that it fits over the edges. The fabric would need to be clued in place in the recessed area. The straps that secure it to the lid would need no alteration. While these extra steps may add a few dollars to the finished product, it would be well worth it making it a much safer piece of furniture.

A simple toy could save your breath!

2009-03-18T19:54:00.000-07:00

Any of you who have read these entries for a while may remember a post about the airport http://www.primopapa.com/2008/09/cheap-thrills.html . My son goes to the local municipal air strip almost every week now. The price is right $0.00 and sites are thrilling. There is only one dilemma. When we are at home and he is playing with his planes he wants daddy to fly them.

When I say fly the plane, I mean taking off, landing, banked turns, and loops. Of course all of this has to be accompanied by the sound of propellers and jets. You known; bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrr! It was fun at first, except that I underestimated a boys attention span for this type of activity. After 20 minutes and pleas of "More, more! Fly daddy, fly!" any time I took a break, I was out of breath and had a head ache.

Solution: Infrared remote controlled micro helicopter!

That's right, for a mere $29.95 I saved my lungs. Now I soar through the skies of my living room to my son's delight from the comfort of the couch. The helicopter fits in the palm of my hand and has a flashing light. Flight time is about 10 minutes on a full charge. A few good spins around the house and he is ready to move on to something else.

So that I paint a complete, picture here is the rest of the store. This is not a full fledged R/C hobby craft. If you keep your expectations low your satisfaction will be high. About all you get is up, down, and a slow methodical circle. You will crash many times until you get the hang of it. I highly recommend an extended warrant on this one, which is unlike me to suggest. Mine was a gift from Brookstone and for and extra $3.99 you can walk in and exchange it as many times as you like for a year. I have done so twice since Christmas.

Now that "flying" is an enjoyable experience for both of us it may become our father/son hobby. I want to try the Air Hog or Picco Z models next. Happy flying!!

Because we are still the papas, be safe around the kids! The propeller blades are made of light flexible plastic. This could hurt or leave a mark if spinning blades hit a babies soft skin. Recommended age is 8 and up. Follow all warnings and operating instructions.

A friendly reminder from Rodney Atkins

2009-03-12T23:58:00.000-07:00

It is a stretch for me to say that I am a fan of Country music. I do enjoy it as a change of pace from time to time or on long drives. However, when the opportunity to be reminded of who I am and how it affects my child presents itself, I will take the lesson from a good Country song any time. This one says it all. Rodney Atkins is on the money!

So if you are a fan or at least open minded, check out the video. For the rest of you who would otherwise miss the gem among the Southern twang and guitar strumming, read the lyrics below.

"Watching You"

Driving through town just my boy and me
With a happy meal in his booster seat
Knowing that he couldn't have the toy
Till his nuggets were gone
A green traffic light turned straight to red
I hit my brakes and mumbled under my breath
His fries went a flying and his orange drink covered his lap
Well then my four year old said a four letter word
That started with "s" and I was concerned
So I said son now now where did you learn to talk like that

[Chorus one]

He said I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are
We got cowboy boots and camo pants
Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we dad
I wanna do everything you do
So I've been watching you

We got back home and I went to the barn
I bowed my head and I prayed real hard
Said Lord please help me help my stupid self
Then this side of bedtime later that night
Turning on my son's Scooby Doo nightlight
He crawled out of bed and he got down on his knees
He closed his little eyes, folded his little hands
And spoke to God like he was talking to a friend
And I said son now where'd you learn to pray like that

[Chorus two]

He said I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are
We like fixing things and holding mama's hand
Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we dad
I wanna do everything you do
So I've been watching you

[Bridge]

With tears in my eyes I wrapped him in a hug
Said my little bear is growing up
He said but when I'm big I'll still know what to do

[Chorus three]

Cause I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are
By then I'll be as strong as superman
We'll be just alike, hey won't we dad
When I can do everything you do
Cause I've been watching you

By Rodney Atkins

Money from my faucets

2009-02-14T14:14:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or do you see money rushing out of every major system in your house too?

Men have always had a unique relationship with money. According to a recent David Chappelle stand up bit we are only interested in money as it relates to bait for women. Well once you've got the woman and kids are in the picture, money seems to leak out from the strangest places.

I have encountered a new phenomena, money running out of my faucet and every where else for that matter. Almost every time I turn on the water I don't see clear H2O, I see pennies running down the drain. When the heat comes on not only do I feel the warmth and hear the hum of the forced air, I also see dollar bills blowing from the vents. You know, like that game where they put a guy in a glass box with thousands of dollars. When the fan comes on he gets to keep whatever he can grab in 30 seconds, except I can't catch any.

These episodes of altered vision are often brought on by yet another run for diapers, conversations about pre-school (a conversation for another day), looking at grocery bills, etc. Who knew a kid so small could eat so much? From my conversations with other dads the events I have described are fairly common. It cuts across all ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds. So just know you are not alone. We are all like the little boy for the "Sixth Sense". We see dead people too, they are pictures of dead presidents on pieces of paper and metal rushing away.

Being a Papa is a wonderful life!

2008-12-24T23:03:00.000-08:00

George Bailey is a Primo Papa even if Clarance had to help him realize it.

The parental smack down

2008-11-14T07:32:00.000-08:00

Now my kid is officially a toddler and has a right hook to prove it! First it started with general swinging at the air, then banging the coffee table or chair. He even hit himself when he couldn't figure something out or get what he wanted. Then he took it to the next level. SMACK right across my face at close range. Even though he had a grin so wide that I could see all eight of his teeth and every inch of virgin gum in his mouth, this was no love tap. His intention was to get a reaction out of me, but he would get no satisfaction here.

This incident is telling of human nature. We have never hit or even threatened any type of physical punishment. He doesn't watch T.V. , and there is no one else he is exposed to that would have introduced the concept. He is simply a human boy and so it is just in there.

I was told that when a child hits their parent at this age it is a sign that they feel safe with you. Safe enough to express how they really feel. I am not sure if I want him to fee that safe. So I had to derail this train before it got too far down the track.

Because I saw it coming I didn't even blink. Which was his first cue that he had crossed the line. Since we were in my bedroom at the time he immediately found himself sitting on the edge of the bed with daddy's hands firmly around his arms and torso. I went down to my knees so that we could talk eye to eye. Next I went into "unhappy daddy" mode which is a face/voice combination I am still perfecting. Once I briefly explained that hitting is not acceptable. To my surprise when I asked if he understood he said "yeah" with a bit of remorse. Let's see how long this works. I won't be holding by breath. As he decides to test more I a will have to have a plan B, C, .... any suggestions?