The pleasure of pee

Be fore warned, unless you are a new dad or can reflect back on this stage in your son's life you may not dig this one. I am also not sure how this plays out for guys with daughters.

I never thought helping my child learn to use the toilet would yield such a sense of accomplishment. The look on his face and the laughter of pride is priceless. From the start everyone said you have so much time for that because boys don't pick it up as fast as girls do. However, I was given one piece of advice that seemed a little strange at the time but is reasonable. Have an open door policy when you go to the bathroom.

TMI you say, if this is TMI at this stage in the game either you don't have kids or haven't been involved. This is light weight compared to the stuff people are eager to talk about once they know you are a dad. So here is the plan.

1. Get a potty.
2. Make a big deal about the potty when you set it up.
3. Let your kid know it is just for them, what it is for, and that they can use it any time they want. PUT ZERO PRESSURE ON THEM TO USE IT.
   
4. Leave the bathroom door open when you go. If they come in, so be it. Just make sure they don't get in too close. *
5. Complete the routine: Toilet seat down, flush, wash hands.

The two things that will amaze you most are how quickly they want to go potty and how exciting it is to see them accomplishing something that we take for granted.

My only caveat's are: it won't be consistent, so don't think they have got it down the first month. You have to be prepared to take them every time they ask. They may learn to use it as a stall tactic when they don't want to do something.

Just another way to make everyday tasks an adventure!


*Pee only

Dad: Every man and then some!

Chaka Chan and Whitney Houston sang about being every woman, well now that I am a dad I can claim to be every man. The card I received last year for Father's Day is one of the funniest humor cards I have every seen because it is on the money! This guy is definitely a Primo Papa.

As fathers, the Primo kind, we perform every one of these roles and them some. There are two key roles that have been omitted however: pest control man and sounding board, dare I say therapist. Only when I am out of state will my wife get rid of any spiders herself. As a Primo Papa you have supported the #1 mom in your life from day one, which means a ton of listening and very little talking during pregnancy and early childhood. By the way, does that every change?

No matter how hectic things may get I enjoy each of these roles. I am proud to wear all of my hats as a dad. So make sure you show your Primo Papa some love this weekend, he has earned it!



*Images by Mahogany, a division of Hallmark Cards, Inc.

Keep score and win at fatherhood

GAME STATISTICS
MIN	PTS	STL	RBD	BLK	AST	TO
35.4	48	3.2	10	2.1	11	1.1

So how exactly do you keep score as a parent? The fears of inadequacy can creep up on the best of us from time to time. It is the hardest working parent with well adjust, if not exceptional children that often feel this way. Leave it to a guy who is an athlete and a sales person to ponder the idea of a scoreboard for parenting a la the box scores in your local sports section.

The idea of scoring your parenting skills didn't come out of competitiveness, it came from compassion. I was listening to my wife's frustrations and concerns that she wasn't doing the best for our son, which I know to be untrue. She is an outstanding parent. In the heat of the moment it didn't matter how much I reminded her of all the things she does that has made him the wonderful kid he is today. It occurred to me that it would have been great to whip out a stats sheet of the last two years and say "Hey! Look what you did in this category and that category". Many areas of our lives are plagued by overly critical self evaluation. Parenting is hard enough as it is without beating ourselves up.

Basketball, golf, baseball, tennis, as with most sports have as many stats as you can imagine. I mean where else but American football would a stat like YAC (yards after catch) sound appealing. When compared to parenting these numbers are trivial at best. Here are some stats that would be cool to track.

PRIMO PAPA STATISTICS
MPD	HPD	P to P	RB	BPD	AT	AST
45	12.8	9:1	22	2.5	1.1	2.3

MPD = Minutes of one on one time per day

HPD = Hugs per day

P to P = Praise to punishment ratio

RB = Repeatable Behavior. Would it be a good thing if your kids did what you just did?

BPD = Number of books read to child per day

AT = Adventures taken together

AST = Number of times you let them help, instead of just doing it yourself even though it will take twice as long.


What would you keep stats on to evaluate your parenting skills?

We need to take time and reflect on the progress we make each day as leaders, teachers, care givers, and providers instead of getting bogged down with the occasional bad day.