The action movie for dads with daughters

TAKEN

Starring Liam Nesson as the Primo Papa Brian Mills; father and ex-spy.

Summary: This is what happens to you when you mess with a semi-retired government operative's daughter. Solid action flick with plenty of hand to hand action and clever spy tricks.

Pros: Total guy movie that you can watch with your wife or girlfriend. Great action and camera work a la Jason Bourne. Should be viewed by any boy coming to pick up your daughter.

Cons: Nesson's character Bryan who is portrayed as a seasoned world traveling spy never has to break from speaking English during the entire film. I thought all those guys could speak 10 languages.



You may have heard the saying "a man's man", well Bryan Mills played by Liam Nesson is a dad's dad. In Taken, Bryan is an ex-government operative who has retired and moved closer to his teenage daughter with the hope of make up for lost time. The story kicks into high gear after the daughter with her mother's help, coaxes Byran to give consent so she can spend the summer in Paris with another teenage friend. Before the two young travelers spend their first night in Paris they are kidnapped by sex traffickers. This action flick tells a thrilling story about what a father is willing to do to save his daughter when he has Bryan's particular set of skills.

This story is a gift from writers Luc Besson & Robert Mark Kamen to any guy who is now the father of a little girl and fan of the Bourne, bond, or the Transporter movies. They set up the action by giving you some time to see the range of emotion experienced by a father who is trying to reconnect with his child after many years lost to an all consuming career. All the while navigating the icy water of an ex-wife and her uber rich husband. Once the emotional foundation is laid, it serves as a launching pad for Neeson's character to blast of into a focused rage and quest to bring his daughter home alive.

Bryan is always thinking. He seems to never loose his cool. All of the detective work to uncover the tiniest clues is clever. Watching him shred through all of the evil doers he encounters in the Paris under world delivers close hand to hand combat and fast paced action. In one particular seen when he realizes an old French spy buddy is on the crime boss' payroll, Bryan has no problem demonstrating his determination, even if it means inflicting a little pain on someone his old pal loves.

Nesson does a great job of making sure that nowhere during this entire odyssey do you loose sight of the fact that he is still a dad trying to save his child. His facial expressions often convey enough that words are not needed. Even during his rampage on all the sex trading scum he is able to show some compassion for another girl instead of just tossing her aside.

After a great final round of beat downs, Bryan is reunited with his daughter and you are presented with a predictable but realistic happy ending. Taken is a fun film for you to check out. For any guy with a teenage daughter, there are a few select scenes that are perfect to have for the viewing pleasure of any new boy that comes knocking on your door.

Overcome "I can't"

Sooner or later your kid will figure out how to say those two words good parents never let their children use: "I can't". We have been led to believe these words are unproductive, unambitious, and frankly un-American. President Barack Obama ran an entire campaign on the exact opposite -"Yes We Can". In the face of your child's frustration with something they clearly can't do right now, how do you keep your solemn vow to up hold the time honored prohibition on those vile words "I can't".

Get real and tell the truth! With most ventures we attempt in life and are unable to do, it is just a matter of time, creativity, and effort. So just say it that way. Let your kids know its okay to struggle with something and instead of "I can't", give them "I am struggling with..." or " (fill in the blank) is hard". In fact, they should see you having to work at something difficult every once in a while. The satifaction of figuring it out is a lesson that should be learned early in life. It pays dividends for years to come.

The next time you hear "I can't" give these ideas a try:

• Instead of telling them how to do it, get down on the floor or wherever and show them, but don't get it right the first time. Take a few cracks at it and get it wrong no matter how simple the task. Seeing you struggle lets them know they can identify with you. If daddy could figure it out then they can too.

• Be patient, we always want to fix stuff. That is not our job here. You will be amazed at what they figure out on their own if you wait a little longer before coming to the rescue.

• Our tendency with boys may be to say something like "yes you can, try harder". Cut your three year old some slack. Ask them what they are having trouble with and listen. Talk them through what they are working on step by step. If you have to, go back to the first suggestion.

What have you done to help you kids over come "I can't"?

Earning Fathers' Day

Have you earned your Fathers' Day accolades this year? I am talking about the type of work that was put in by the father who inspired the holiday to begin with. Since Father's Day is exactly 30 days from now, it is the perfect time to challenge ourselves as fathers and do a little something extra each day to earn the honors we will receive this Fathers' Day.

Fathers' Day began as a way to show some love to a single dad. Of course it was his proud daughter who started it all. Back in 1909 while listening to a Mothers' Day sermon rightfully praising moms for their work, Sonora Smart Dodd couldn't help but reflect on her dad who raised six children by himself after their mother died during child birth. She wanted to say thanks for the selfless effort he exerted each day. The next year in June was the first recognized Fathers' Day celebration in the U.S.

Take this bit of truly heroic history and run with it. Make the commitment to be there and throw the ball around more or sit on the edge of the bed each night to hear about their day. Start or finish that project the kids keep hearing you brush off with "I'll do it next weekend". Consistency is the key, it doesn't have to be anything monumental.

My goals:

• Post three new entries a week here at primopapa.com. I want my son to be able to look back on this and see how important is was for me to be someone he could be proud to pattern himself after.

• Clean the garage to make a workout/ play area. The extra space will be great for him to play on a rain day next winter and see what it takes for daddy to stay in shape.

• Step it up a notch at work because I am thankful to have a job in this economy, and my family will reap the benefits.

What are you going to do to earn your Father's Day festivities?

How to apologize to a toddler

Recently I was compelled to apologize to my son for my bad behavior. I have to say it is humbling and weird to apologize to a toddler. I knew I was wrong, but at first I didn't think he would understand. Kids will amaze you - they get it.

This episode started with him banging a metal spoon against a glass bowl. I was sure he would break the bowl which I didn't want to clean up. Despite my requests to not hit the bowl and explaining what might happen, he continued.

Then I behaved in a way that I would not tolerate if he had done it to me or someone else. I snatched the spoon from his hand. Immediately, I knew I was not being the man I want my son to be. Of course that sent him into hysterics which I didn't feel too bad about. That stuff happens when he is frustrated or doesn't get what he wants.

The part that gave me pause was the sense of powerlessness in his eyes. In that moment between me rudely taking the spoon away and him screaming, he was thoroughly deflated. Now don't confuse me with some new age softy, consequences and boundaries are a kid's best friend. However, administering consequences without providing an opportunity to decide is mean. Since there wasn't any immediate danger I could have gone through my 1-2-3 routine or simply asked him to hand it over. Most of the time those options work well. This time I didn't give him a chance to exercise his decision making skills and that is the point of parenting.

So in the end, I pulled up next to him at the dinner table, looked him in the eye, and began to speak. I told him it was not polite to snatch things from people and that I apologized for doing it to him. His eyes were locked on mine, he could see my contrition. I asked him if he understood, to which he replied "yes". I extended my fist, he extended his and gave me a bump.

Peace restored, at least for now.

Papa's Last minute list for Mother's Day

Men you now have less that 24 hours to have something unique and special for the woman who blessed you with the title DAD. If you are still reading, that means you want to show your love and appreciation with something, so lets get started. The clock is ticking.

1. Hand made coupons. Make a list of tasks you haven't gotten around to for her, places only she wants to go, or movies you vowed never to watch with her. Throw in a few things for yourself like painting her fingers and toes, back rubs, etc. and then head to the local Michael's art store or CVS.

Get some construction paper, puff paint, and glitter. Cut out several 3X6 inch coupons. With a Sharpie neatly write down each task from your list. For example: "This coupon entitles mom to..." Use the puff paint to decorate the edges and the glitter finish it off. Let them dry completely. Put your love coupons in a box and wrap it pretty. (Sorry, no pictures this is a last minute list remember)

2. Go to a nice dinner. Yes you did that last year, but this time make sure it is somewhere she has never been. I don't care if she loves that one place you always go to. Find something different. Ask her girl friends, use citysearch.com, yelp.com, zagat.com. Just don't ask her for help and none of the same old hang outs.

3. Here is a link to a previous post. Don't be thrown off by the title, the purpose is unrelated but there are some simple ideas. Kick mom out!

4. Check out what this dad has to say on last minute Mother's ideas. Make me wanna holler,

5. Don' for get the card, any card, with your writing in it. That means more than a signature.

Now get to it!