The parental smack down

Now my kid is officially a toddler and has a right hook to prove it! First it started with general swinging at the air, then banging the coffee table or chair. He even hit himself when he couldn't figure something out or get what he wanted. Then he took it to the next level. SMACK right across my face at close range. Even though he had a grin so wide that I could see all eight of his teeth and every inch of virgin gum in his mouth, this was no love tap. His intention was to get a reaction out of me, but he would get no satisfaction here.

This incident is telling of human nature. We have never hit or even threatened any type of physical punishment. He doesn't watch T.V. , and there is no one else he is exposed to that would have introduced the concept. He is simply a human boy and so it is just in there.

I was told that when a child hits their parent at this age it is a sign that they feel safe with you. Safe enough to express how they really feel. I am not sure if I want him to fee that safe. So I had to derail this train before it got too far down the track.

Because I saw it coming I didn't even blink. Which was his first cue that he had crossed the line. Since we were in my bedroom at the time he immediately found himself sitting on the edge of the bed with daddy's hands firmly around his arms and torso. I went down to my knees so that we could talk eye to eye. Next I went into "unhappy daddy" mode which is a face/voice combination I am still perfecting. Once I briefly explained that hitting is not acceptable. To my surprise when I asked if he understood he said "yeah" with a bit of remorse. Let's see how long this works. I won't be holding by breath. As he decides to test more I a will have to have a plan B, C, .... any suggestions?

Papa's are people too

During a conversation about my son's looming departure to pre-school I really stepped in it. I ask my wife, who is a stay at home mom, "then what are you going to do?" Man did I get an ear full.

There was a miss understanding however. With him going to school, her full time job would change a bit. I was simply wondering what she would do with an extra 3 hours. That is a life time when your days are as full as theirs are now. The question had more to do with us as parents and how we balance our personal goals with being providers.

It seems to me that part of being a good parent is being a whole person. Your kids need to see you enjoying things that are just for you. My mom gained a new level of respect from me when she went back to college while I was in grade school. She would teach me new vocabulary from her English class. I walked around all summer asking people if they were "too inebriated to perambulate". I think she thought is was funny too.

Men in particular can appear one dimensional to their kids at times. If your dad was like mine you know it was all about work, fixing stuff, and watching or listening to the game. So hearing stories of his road trip to Mexico City, was eye opening, I just didn't think he would do something like that. The times he would starting dancing in the living room on Saturday nights were hilarious! They weren't just mom and dad anymore, they were people too.

Obama The Primo Papa

On behalf of all Primo Papas, I want to congratulate President Elect Obama on a nearly flawless campaign and monumental victory! From the first speech to the victory speech last night, his entire persona has been positive. The type of positivity, while not over exuberant is simply magnetic.

President Elect Barack Hussein Obama is a PrimoPapa! He has demonstrated to his young children that coming from a place of positivity is the answer. He didn't let history tell him he couldn't, no matter who was telling the story. He took the best from all of his experiences: Hawaii and Harvard, American mother and African father, The Black Church and corporate America, and many others to shape his vision of what is possible and how to execute a plan to make it happen.

For now, there is not much more to say except that I am honored to see shining evidence that confirms what I believed was possible even when I wasn't sure when I would see it. Even when reaching for the highest office in America a person can be judged by the content of their character.