Saving the Environment

One of the most drastic displays of a man's conviction about the environment he wanted to provide for his young daughter, was shared with me about 10 years ago. This story came to me from a guy when he was just starting out as a parent. He noticed some pollution and took action.

One evening while traveling down the highway my friend was making his way home to see his wife and little girl. As usual he was enjoying some music from his vast CD collection. This is a collection that he had accumulated through high school and college. It was all the stuff city kids of the 90's enjoyed at every school dance and house party. However, on this day as a newly minted father his ears were changing.

The tracks from the CD player were loud and thumbing as usual. Today, despite the volume he could hear the words more clearly. The pictures they painted were coming into focus, maybe for the first time ever. If he had brushed all this aside before, he couldn't any longer. As the music played he became more and more conflicted. These words didn't harmonize with the words he whispered to his princess as she drifted off to sleep. It certainly didn't jive with the way he treated his wife both because he loved her and for his daughter to learn what to expect from a man.

Imagining his daughter being view by men the same way this music depicted women made him nauseous. The nausea may have also been a result of him coming to grips with having to get rid of his prized collection. So there he way cruising along at 65 miles an hour. What happened next shock him just as much as it must have anyone else on the road that day. CD's began flying out the window. With each handful that left his car the conviction intensified and the nausea subsided.

As a young single guy listening to this story I couldn't believe my ears. The level of respect I had for my friend increased exponentially. I had been privileged to hear the story of how he became a man. The type of man I hope his daughter marries.

Dad's guilty pleasure

Recently I witnessed one of the most inspiring displays of determination. My son's first bout with Scotch tape. I was given the idea to loosely wrap clear adhesive tape, sticky side out, around my son's wrist. Then take a walk and collect leaves, twigs, and such. Thus creating a "nature walk bracelet".

Well, being the little boy that he is, the first round of tape was off before we could get out of the door. Not only had he taken it off, he had torn it into pieces. These bits of tape were now stuck to his hands. This is where the fun begins!

My son is now flinging his hands out one by one with forceful and deliberate intent trying to throw the tape on the floor. Imagine trying to unfurl a yo-yo but no matter how hard you try it is tuck to your hand. Over and over, he tried again and again becoming more determined with each attempt.

Once I realized what was going on I didn't intervene immediately. I watched to see how he handled the situation. I began to chuckle but soon went into a fit of silent hysterical laughter. The harder he tried the funnier it became. He never noticed me because he was too busy with this "new type of paper" stuck to his hands. After a while I began to feel a bit guilty getting a laugh out of the prediciment my son was in. The guilt was eased however, as I realized he wasn't frustrated or upset by the situation. If anything, he found it fascinating.

I soon stooped down and tried to explain tape while re-applying a fresh piece to his wrist. Off we went on our walk. Most of the things he wanted to pick up along the way were not appropriate for the bracelet, but we now have a wonderful piece of tape with leaves, flowers, and twigs hanging on the refrigerator door.

Making a "nature bracelet" on a walk around the block would not have been my first choice of activites, but it definately provided the best laugh of the day!

Papas at war

Recently, when opening my Google home page I glanced down and read this simple yet thought provoking quote.

"I'm glad I didn't have to fight in any war. I'm glad I didn't have to pick up a gun. I'm glad I didn't get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood."
- Tom Hanks

While I don't think fighting in war in any way defines your "manhood" as Mr. Hanks put it, I am just as thankful and have the same hopes for my child. The reason this quote caught my eye is because it brought my attention to a group of papas I have overlooked thus far: military papas.

In this time of war the emotional burden of being away from your children under such precarious circumstances must be enormous. Then when you are fortunate enough to return home after one or more tours of duty, reasserting yourself back into the family has to present some challenges.

To all veterans of this Iraq war, Desert Storm, Vietnam and other wars past, I am pausing here to show my respect for the great sacrifice you make that allows me to write freely with no immediate threat of violence looming over me.

I invite you to share the joys and challenges of fatherhood while serving your country in the midst of war.