Kick mom out!

Gentlemen, if your wife, girlfriend, etc. is anything like my wife, she has made it clear that she wants you to be involved. I have heard time and time again that the sexiest thing a man can do is help with the children. Well I am here to tell you that you might have to kick her out of the house to do it!

Does this scenario sound familiar?

Mom:"Honey will you give Jr. a bath tonight I am really tired. I would love to just get in bed and read a few magazines."

Dad: "Sure babe, I got it, go relax."

Mom: "Remember to check the water before you put him in."

Dad: "Babe, I got it. We've been doing this for 8 (insert your number here) months now, I know the routine."

Mom: "I know, but remember that time you forgot to bring the baby shampoo with you?" Again, insert your blunder here.

Mom: "Do you have the bath toys?"

Mom: "You know how he loves the green one."

Mom: "Oh, one last thing...."

As a result of all this, the baby is back in her arms and the remote is back in your hands. Which is just about the worst outcome for everyone involved. But who could blame you right? Now to be fair to the ladies, they have invested more educational hours than you on getting this all right the first time. Remember, your wives are giving it their all and when you put that much into something it can be difficult to let go. Even when they are begging for relief. What is the solution you ask?

KICK MOM OUT!

Suggested methods:



$$$$: You know that new resort/spa she mentioned from that magazine she is always quoting from? Find it and book a *night, or *weekend if you dare. Pack her bag and send her on her way.

$$$ : Purchase a gift certificate to the local day spa. Go over the babies' schedule for the day in detail. Make sure the car is washed and full of gas then give her the boot.

$$ : Call the husband of another mom she likes to hang out with and arrange a movie night for the wives to that flick neither of you wants to see. I am sure he needs to kick his wife out as well. Buy the ticket for your wife so she doesn't just go shopping for the baby with the money. Spring for candy and popcorn to go along with the movie ticket.

$ : Give your wife a $20.00 bill and send her to the bookstore. The only rule, again: No baby books or magazines.

$0.00: Send her to a friends house, or to the park with a book (see above) and some homemade snacks or lunch. Caveat, don't suggest she go out to exercise unless that was her routine long before she got pregnant. You don't want to open that can of worms. When it comes to exercise you had better go with her!

Guys, if you are reading this then I know you are or want to be conscientious fathers. You took the classes, read most of what she gave you from the time you two decided to start trying to have a baby until now, and you have been hands on a good portion of the time. If she doesn't feel as good about your skills then show off some of your moves at bath time and around the changing table more often. Then kick her out! It will be good for everyone.

*Before sending her away for the day or overnight make sure you have the schedule in your PDA/Smartphone with reminders set to go off 20 minutes before any action item is due. Have plenty of pumped milk if you are still in that stage. Lastly, have the number of at least two people with more experience (lots more) than you and who won't tell her you called for help. This way the only call you make to her is to say the baby is fine and enjoy.